


What Could've Been

by PetitRenard



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Eiji/Shorter centric, Established Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of drugging, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shorter Wong Lives, Shorter Wong Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26228830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetitRenard/pseuds/PetitRenard
Summary: Eiji started to close his eyes again when he realized what awoke him.  Softened through a closed door and running water was the unmistakable sound of sobs and hitching breaths.  The distinct lack of heat on his back told Eiji what he already knew.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong
Comments: 11
Kudos: 202





	What Could've Been

One would think that Ash would be the lightest sleeper of the three. However, it is Eiji’s eyes that flutter open for seemingly no reason. The room is still dark so Eiji knows that it isn’t quite time for him to actually be rising with the sun like he tends to do. Taking a moment he observes the room around him. The constant sounds of New York are muted by the thick glass, but it does nothing to stop the street lights streaming into the room casting a faint orangish glow. Noting the distinct lack of danger Eiji allows his eyes to continue to roam the room, landing on the sleeping man in front of him. They’re so close that Eiji can feel the slow puffs of breath that escape Ash's mouth. The orange lights hit Ash’s hair at exactly the right angle to make it appear as if his hair is made of fire. Eiji couldn't help thinking of the Greek God Apollo, which seemed fitting. So much passion, beauty, and fire embodied into a single human body could only be the result of some divine intervention. How did he become so lucky to witness and be a part of the story that is Ash Lynx? 

Eiji started to close his eyes again when he realized what awoke him. Softened through a closed door and running water was the unmistakable sound of sobs and hitching breaths. The distinct lack of heat on his back told Eiji what he already knew. 

Clambering out of the middle of a king sized bed while trying to not wake the remaining man sleeping was a lot more difficult than Eiji anticipated. The blankets caught his foot at the last moment which caused Eiji to trip and hit his hips on the bedside table. Muffling a curse Eiji quickly looked back and was grateful to see Ash’s eyes still closed and his breathing slow. God knows how much that kid deserves one night of peaceful rest. 

Eiji leans down and pulls on a random sweatshirt that was lying on the floor. By the strong comforting spicy cologne and the size Eiji knew that it was Shorter’s. Continuing to make his way across the room to the attached bathroom, Eiji noticed that the sounds of crying had stopped when he had run into the table. The sudden silence worried Eiji more and he slowly opened the bathroom door. The onset of light forced Eiji to squint his eyes until they adjusted, and the sight that greeted him was heartbreaking. 

Shorter sat on the floor of the shower with water beating down onto his broad shoulders and still in his underwear. Shorter’s eyes were squeezed closed, but despite that Eiji could see that they were puffy and red. Shorter's normally vibrant magenta mohawk appeared dull and flat with it being plastered to the sides of his head. Eiji then noticed the shivering and his eyes immediately darted to the shower handle and saw that it was turned all the way to cold. Rushing forward Eiji turned the shower off and quickly turned to grab the fresh towels that were under the sink. 

Shorter was still shivering and Eiji threw the towel around his shoulder, rubbing the towel across Shorter's skin in hopes of getting him dry and maybe having the friction provide some warmth. Eiji’s main focus was warming Shorter up and thus he didn’t even notice Shorter's eyes opening and tears running down his cheeks. Suddenly Eiji was pulled down into a fierce awkward hug as the side of the tub obstructed Eiji from being fully pressed up against Shorter. Eiji knew he couldn’t stand in that position forever so with gentle coaxing and pulling he got Shorter to step out of the tub only for Shorter to collapse back onto the floor of the bathroom with Eiji following. 

Without the tub obstructing him, Shorter fully pulls Eiji into his lap, so Eiji’s thighs are straddling his hips. Burying his face into the space between Eiji’s neck and shoulder, Shorter continues to quietly shake and cry. Eiji was holding Shorter just as hard as Shorter was holding him. One was out of desperation and the other was filled with a violent protectiveness that Eiji had only felt with Shorter and Ash. His boy’s had already been through enough and Eiji was determined to help protect the two gang leaders at any cost. 

Eiji isn’t sure how long they sat like that but once Shorter stopped shaking Eiji softly brought his hands to Shorter's chin and pulled his head up so Shorter could look into his eyes. Shorter's tears which appeared to have been slowing, came back full force as he made eye contact with Eiji. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry….” Shorter repeatedly forced out of his scratchy throat. Shorter’s eyes are filled with so much pain and anxiety that all Eiji can do is try to provide comfort. 

“Shhhhh” Eiji soothes, continuously wiping at the tears that were still falling from Shorter's eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for baby.” Eiji whispered and he continued his ministrations of soothingly wiping Shorter’s cheeks. Eiji just kept on repeating platitudes until Shorter’s tears stopped falling. Leaning forward Eiji softly kissed both of Shorter’s eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” Eiji mumbled into Shorter’s drying hair.

Letting out a couple more shuddering breaths Shorter managed to choke out “In a little bit, just need a lil more time.” Eiji nodded his head in understanding and just continued to hold onto Shorter soothingly rubbing at his chest. Eventually Shorter pulled back slightly so it would be easier to talk.

“ I had a nightmare.” Shorter stated, Eiji just sat and waited for Shorter to collect his thoughts a little more. “I-I wasn’t able to escape,” Shorter mumbled, seemingly still lost in the nightmare. “They drugged me, they forced it into my veins Eiji” Shorter was starting to talk faster. 

“They drugged me and it hurt so bad Eiji, it hurt so fucking bad. They told me that I had to kill you and I tried so hard, Eiji. I swear I tried so fucking hard, but it didn’t fucking matter because in the end i’m week,” Shorter sobbed. “They threw me a knife and I knew what was going to happen but I couldn’t control anything Eiji. Ash was chained up and watching as I approached you knowing that I had betrayed our friendship and what I was going to do. I was begging him to fucking kill me Eiji, I couldn’t do that to you. It didn’t even matter though because you were just telling me how you forgave me. You just kept repeating that it wasn’t my fault and that you would never blame me. HOW COULD YOU NOT BLAME ME?” Shorter yelled. 

“It’s all my fault, everything was my fault… I should have known I couldn’t protect you. I just kept walking towards you Eiji, and you weren’t even crying. You were just staring into my eyes, your eyes were still full of love even though I was a fucking monster. The knife in my hand started plunging into your chest and I couldn’t do anything. I felt as the knife sliced between your ribs, as it hit tough bone and kept on going. I heard your soft grunts of pain and the sound of blood splattering on my face. I could taste it Eiji… I could taste your blood. I could taste you dying Eiji.” Shorter was fully sobbing again at this point, not able to make eye contact with Eiji. He was shaking his head back and forth as if trying to dispel the images that were playing on repeat behind his closed eyes. 

Tears were streaming down Eiji’s face too but he just rubbed Shorter's back soothingly knowing that he couldn’t interrupt now and that Shorter had to get everything out. “Finally I heard the cock of a gun and I turned around right as Ash pulled the trigger. I was so thankful, and when that bullet hit my chest and went all the way through I knew that my death was the only way for it to end. The pain and my death was my only retribution for what I had done to you. And to Ash.” Shorter just kept on crying “We left him all alone Eiji, and it was my fault and does that make me any better than his father?”

Sensing the end of the dream Eiji quickly started comforting Shorter. “Shorter Wong, I need you to take deep breaths and focus on me baby. I’m sitting right here with you and Ash is sleeping in the other room.” Eiji started slowly rocking Shorter back and forth.

“None of that happened, you were able to break free before you were drugged. You were able to sneak through and untie my bonds. You were the one to find bolt cutters and get Ash free of his chains. You were the one who saved us Shorter, and you need to remember that. You are nothing like Ash’s father because you love us and you would never hurt or abandon us.” Eiji said ferociously as he grabbed even tighter and pulled a little closer.

“But I -” Shorter started “No. No buts Shorter. You saved me and I love you for that, and I love you for everything else too. You are brave and courageous. You are one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met and I'm honoured that I've been given the opportunity to know you, and love you.” Eiji was on a roll now and there was no stopping him. 

“Shorter you are one of the loves of my life. You make me unbelievably happy everyday. Whether it’s when you make me snort because I'm laughing so hard, or if we are just sitting in silence cuddling on the couch. Every moment with you is a treasure and I will not tolerate you talking bad about yourself because there is nothing bad inside you Shorter.” Eiji was slightly out of breath from his passionate outburst. 

“I love you too Eiji. Thank you. I don’t know where I would be without you.” Shorter whispered, feeling the exhaustion from the night start to set in. “You don’t have to thank me Shorter, I will be there whenever you need me and I’m glad to do it.” Eiji replied. 

They sat there a little longer still hugging, but slowly Shorter started to realize that his legs were going numb and he couldn’t imagine how bad Eiji’s knees were hurting from kneeling on the tile for who knows how long. Shorter began to shift trying to get more blood flow into his legs, but not quite wanting to move yet. Eiji, noticing Shorter’s discomfort, decided it was time to get up and off the bathroom floor. By now Shorter had calmed down and the only evidence of his panic attack was the red rimmed eyes and wet underwear. “Come on, let's get you changed and back into bed” Eiji said as he stood and offered his hand to Shorter. Shorter appeared to be surprised by the offered hand showing that despite all of what Eiji’s shown he’s willing to do for Shorter, Shorter still doesn’t expect help. 

Hefting Shorter off the floor Eiji continued to hold onto his hand as he led him back into the bedroom. After exiting the bathroom Eiji let go of Shorter's hand to go find a clean pair of underwear and to take off the slightly damp sweatshirt. Shorter just stood in the doorway still dripping slightly and looking completely lost with the physical contact with Eiji. Eiji found the clean underwear and quickly brought it back to Shorter who shamelessly just stripped down naked and put on the new underwear. Eiji despite seeing Shorter naked countless times still slightly averted his gaze while blushing. This brought a small soft smile to Shorter's face because despite everything they have all been through Eiji is still sweet Eiji. 

This time Shorter was the one who grabbed Eiji’s hand and led him to the bed where Eiji climbed in first, crawling to the middle of the bed where Ash remained asleep. Oblivious to what had just occurred. However, when Shorter plopped into bed, all of Eiji’s hard work of keeping Ash asleep went to waste. Ash blearily opened his eyes looking confused and still mostly asleep.

“Everything okay?” Ash mumbled. “Ya, everything's okay now, you can go back to sleep” Eiji whispered back. Ash stared into Eiji’s eyes, debating internally whether or not Eiji was telling the truth. When Ash had deemed Eiji wasn’t lying he nodded his head slightly, closed his eyes and was back to softly snoring just like that. Shorter cuddled up behind Eiji and pulled him tightly against his body. Shorter’s arm was wrapped firmly around Eiji’s chest. Shorter intertwined their hands and with the warmth of Shorter pressing up against him Eiji quickly approached sleep. A few moments later when Shorter thought Eiji was asleep he pressed his mouth against the base of Eiji’s neck and whispered “I love you” so quietly that Eiji couldn barely hear it. With that confirmation that Shorter was actually okay, Eiji fully let himself succumb to sleep surrounded by the two boys he loved most in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So this is my first work and if you like it I would really appreciate a kudo's or even a comment! Thank you so much for reading!!


End file.
